The Pains of Being "Hipster"

First of all, what is a hipster?

A "hipster" is a person who hates things that are generally liked. For example, if everybody in your school likes Nicki Minaj and Lil Wayne while you're into Chiodos and OFWGKTA, then congratulations, you are hipster.

There is a solid belief that tastes in music define a hipster which isn't true at all. "Hipster" is a lifestyle in the same way the South Beach Diet is not just a 5-month phase but a lifetime food plan. So like patriots who have trouble with a corrupt government or like homemakers who have trouble with messy children, hipsters also experience pains of life unique to them. What am I talking about? Read on.

1. Hipsters are commonly branded as trust-fund babies who think they're cooler than everyone.

This is because they get the finer things in life first. For example, if a new Nokia phone is announced to hit the stores next month and it's the first phone to have Corning Glass (a type of glass that's very difficult to scratch), a hipster would have already eBay-ed a phone like that from Japan months ago. While the popular kid in class shows off his scratch-resistant phone, the hipster goes "Yeah, I could totally play Guitar Hero with an actual pick." People respond to that.

Granted that there are hipsters who are total jerks, being hipster is simply a way to become more of an individual and less like a generic baby who consumes all the tasteless crap big business forces down his throat.

2. Hipsters have a difficult time "finding" the stuff they like.

This is because they are meticulous by nature. Everybody knows the internet and what it's capable of. Sadly for hipsters, the internet is a big wasteland where they find useful things only once or twice a month unless they're seriously loaded. Let's say you're watching a good party movie like 21 Jump Street and you find a song with a catchy beat. If you're a normal person, you just go online and straight-up download it. But if you're hipster, things work very differently.

First, (assuming you already know the title of the song), you search for a "lossless quality" copy which is 10-20 times the file size of a "normal quality" mp3. It's VERY DIFFICULT TO FIND. If a "lossless quality" copy (commonly known as FLAC) is not available, you downgrade to a "CD quality" copy (commonly known as 320kbps) which is 2-3 times the file size of a normal mp3 and is 2-3 times harder to find. And if a CDQ isn't available (this already going to feel like a let-down for some hipsters), you downgrade to finding lesser forms of mp3, from 256 kbps, to 192 kbps, and finally the common man's 128 kbps.

"Kbps" stands for kilobit per second. The higher it is, the clearer you will hear complex sounds. A "lossless quality" copy usually falls around 900 kbps. If you like David Cook or other "conventional" rock bands/artists, there is no point in getting a lossless copy. However if you're into opera, classical, or atmospheric techno, you'll find a noticeable difference. Bored yet? We're going deeper.

A lossless copy is virtually impossible to find if the song you like is from an indie artist/band. If it's Kanye West or Rihanna, you wouldn't hit a snag. But if it's This Town Needs Guns or Moving Mountains, things get geeky and complicated. Another thing, you can't download individual songs, you have to download whole albums. Unlike mp3s that have search engines dedicated to them, lossless music is mostly unknown to the world. Albums in a lossless format usually range from 500 to 800 megabytes. (Say goodbye to your bandwidth!)

Also, hipsters prefer buying vinyls (commonly known as LPs) over electronically downloading music like on iTunes. Vinyls give more of a live sound and having a collection of original vinyls by an old band is awesome. Which is cooler? A DVD copy of The Beatle's White Album or an original copy from 1968? Light bulb. Now you get it.

3. Hipsters have a difficult time relating to others because their lives are entirely different. Let's say you're hipster and your friends are talking about movies. They go like "Hey, have you seen the new White House movie? It's freaking nuts!" Inside, you're saying "Yeah, if you're a five year old who enjoys apes banging their fists in a plot that could have been written by another five year old." But you're a nice person, so you say, "Yeah. Gerard Butler? He can act. :)"

This goes on day after day until you find a person with the same taste or until A GOOD MOVIE ACTUALLY COMES OUT OF HOLLYWOOD. This also applies to music, clothing, magazines, and everything related to culture. I'm not saying that hipsters have a more refined taste, it's just when you dabble outside the multiplex, it's really hard to come back. If you find a good hipster girl who loves life, don't let her go. The next girl you find at Starbucks won't be the same as her. Don't be a Taylor Swift.

4. Hipsters are stereotyped as "forever alone." This is because hipsters always have enough free time to find things people overlook. A good book that isn't from JK Rowling, a good track that isn't from Def Jam, or a good film by Jim Carrey--these are things some people would walk their lives without ever experiencing. They're too busy having sex, crashing parties and being full of themselves to care about culture, that's why hipsters are called forever alone. Though I must admit this one is still a puzzler for me. If guys think hipsters are incapable of reproduction, why do they find women in hipster glasses so attractive?

And that's it. 4 of the many, maNY, MANY reasons why being a hipster is discouraging. Keep in mind that you don't have to be hipster to enjoy being an individual. The hipster in the heart of everyone is starting to emerge into the mainstream. Justin Bieber's "Baby" is now one of the most disliked videos on Youtube and Jay Z is getting all kinds of flak for his awkwardly pop-ish album. So don't miss the next arts festival near you. Maybe it's time humanity became less generic, don't you think?