On Animals

(From 8/19/12)

 

Today, I alighted a jeep going home from church. My feet hit the ground and I turned my away as I and my sister made way for the sidewalk. She was going on about buying something from the grocery before heading home; I didn't care about it. I was trying to recognize the wet, jelly-like thing I felt on my foot. I looked down and saw it was, indeed, animal shit. Running over my slipper, reaching even between my toes. I walked home limping, and dodging glances. Good call, anonymous pet owner! You just ruined half my day!

This isn't first it happened time this week. The other day, on my way to school, I boarded a jeepney. I was about to sit when I looked down... to find almost half my pants stained with the same thing. I arrived 20 minutes late and a temp professor was already in, tending to our group meetings. Still, I strolled in without bother, pulled myself an empty chair, removed my shoes and went straight to the bathroom without so much as a "pardon me". I had to wash it with my bare hands. How I did it in detail? Yeah, I'd be glad to share that personally, sicko.

So what, am I going blind? Are my reflexes failing? Is my sense of cautiousness starting to droop? I'm 18, fit as a bull, and I don't think so. My opinion, is household animals here in the Philippines are fucking out of control. 300,000 people are bitten every year, 67 lives on average are claimed by rabies every three months, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who found his foot in a pile of shit today. I mean, come on. This is Metro Manila! A bustling city with 20 million inhabitants; a number bound to again leap up by the next 10 years! What place do animals have among us? The irresponsible outnumber those who answer for their pets: A sign that our country is yet to face more underdevelopment. If you walk down Times Square in New York or Shinjuku in Tokyo, and find a single stray dog, I'd be happy to change what I think. If you ride a scooter through Seoul, or even Kuala Lumpur, and find a cat gnawing something under a parked car, I'd have you to mentor my opinion.

Your transformational perspective could kiss my ass, or better yet, my if-I-ever-assume-office political will. Filipinos will never learn to be responsible (settle down, I'm talking about the majority). If I become a senator in this lifetime, you could kiss your dog that loiters and shits around the neighborhood goodbye. I'll make it a point to license owning animals. I don't care about your freedom to own a pet, I don't want to come home with a shoe drenched in shit when the road gets a little dark, or my unmindful toddler's leg bitten in the future.

The license would require a citizen to prove he/she can confine an animal within his/her property. It would also entail the need to prove that he/she can take care of her pet's waste and needs, so there would be no more throwing of shit wrapped in last week's paper to the empty yard next to you. I would also exterminate stray domestic cats and dogs (or asong kalye and pusang kalye, Aspins and Pusakals as we call it here), humanely. Owner-less aspins and pusakals mind you, are street vagrants in animal form. Except they are more common and they can dump and pee on national monuments without the act being a crime. They can also kill with rabies or give you mange (or both) with impunity.

Many, I'm sure, will frown upon it. Pfft. To hell I care. It's a far-fetched scenario anyway. But, you know, I think that if we are to progress as a nation, we should take care of little things first before handling the big ones. A lot of people are so wrapped up in GDPs, Forex, national growth indexes and reproductive health bill opinions, and here I am, connecting stray animals to national progress because of what happened this morning. Ha ha.