To Live In A Rainbow Or To Fall In The Grey

We are all born to yearn, to want, to need, to love. Many times I've found my mind asking itself what the point is in all this. The world is how we see it and yes, it's oftentimes a dark place. No wonder some people consider it hell. I've reached a point once, that even the blood from the wounds I didn't even see, found a way to bleed. But that's a whole other story. I've noticed a trend forming on my friends' blogs: they've all posted their life's bucket lists or to put it in verbatim, "The Things I Want to Do Before I Die."

My religion taught me that our bodies are but temporary vessels for our souls. That we are just pilgrims making our way through. I can't fathom where the curse of humanity is in that. Is it in our bodies that crave for fleshly, earthly, even lustful things; Or in our souls, in the incessant ringing conscience that hold us down when we are about to give in; So it can save itself from hell or non-attainment of Nirvana? Maybe it's the contradiction between the two, no? They lock us all in a paradox. Anyway, there is no point in talking about humanity in general. All men are created equal, yet we are all unique (alas, another paradox). With all the beliefs and agnosticism in circles out there, what you believe can easily be found in the agree-to-disagree basket.

So what am I to do with the remainder of my days? Listing them down in a blog seems shallow, disappointing even, should I look back at it from the not-so-distant future.

I want 'ol Dave to grow in creativity. I want him to think out the box but with a catch: I want his box to be so big that it encompasses those of most people. So, when he thinks out of it, his ideas become remarkable. Like those of Steve Jobs' or Adam Young's. Today, he studies Journalism (speaking of which, a midterm exam is up tomorrow and he has still not done any sort of reading. Stubborn kid). There's hardly any room for creativity.

I want to live in a rainbow. To appreciate the colors, to mingle among them and be reminded of how far I am from whence I was on the ground. But I guess, as the age-old saying goes, you can't have everything you want. I am falling in the grey. Yes, it's opposite of standing in black or white, but sure as hell, it is no place to find contentment. Neutrality? What do you make of that? A view of the positive and the negative with nothing to stand for.

I have, honestly, no idea as to how I'll expand my horizons. How does one become creative? What goal, right? Well, we all live life to the fullest in our own ways. This is mine.